There is a naked man on my page

And it’s the enigmatic Ben Trovato

I took this photo from another photo which explains the shocking picture quality. But this is literally the only photo of the man. It’s a scary one, but a photo nonetheless. I think this one is for his (mis)guide to golf.

I don’t know if any of you read Ben Trovato’s column in the Cape Times called “On the run”, but it’s a classic. Cape Times are like the gingerbread man, I just can’t seem to catch them. His column just appears randomly so you never know which day his column will be in the paper. So you buy the paper every day even though you only want to read his column. This is a cheap way of Cape Times falsely boosting their circulation figures. Anyhow he has a couple of books out which are way under rated because I read a few of them and they are actually the funniest things you will ever read. They are hysterical. His new book “Ben Trovato’s Art of Survival” should also be good. For the past couple of months he has been writing the back page article for GQ which has garnered them a fair amount of hate mail especially from barmen who he criticised. Now he has been cut from writing the back page for GQ and I’m just waiting to see where next he pops up. After all, he is always on the run. The funny thing is that no one really knows what he looks like which adds to the enigma surrounding him. We just know of his wife Brenda and his son, the brat Clive. Even then, I don’t know if these people exist. In all his photos he is wearing a hat which partly covers his face. Actually in one photo on the golf course all he was wearing was a shirt, a hat, sunglasses and shoes. The rest of him was covered by a Big Bertha driver called a “Big Ben” How he managed to get that photo, I have no idea. I read his column the other day when he said he was in Cavendish Square on a Sunday. I was there as well on that Sunday. That is the closest I have come to actually seeing the man, but even if he was right next to me I doubt I would recognise him. He was talking about the fake snow at the bottom floor where they had Santa. He talked about whether the snow could have actually been cocaine. Shit, if only I had known. It would have been the perfect opportunity to get the kids hooked on drugs, right in front of Santa. You know you hook them young and they are customers for life. They end up being like a property you rent out. You don’t do any work yet at the same time every month (or every day) they come to you bearing gifts of money and you in turn give them coke. Maybe mixed with a little bit of baking powder, so your stash lasts longer and your bank account shoots through the roof. But that’s neither here nor there. So anyway, keep a look out for his columns and his books, they are quite entertaining. If you want to get in contact with him, which I doubt you will, Cape Times supply his e-mail address which is: freebentrovato@yahoo.com Hey, his e-mail address says all you need to know about him. Strange

I just read a letter from Trovato in the Cape Times(December 11), entitled “Camps Bay protest” He says “I was outraged to read in the weekend papers how actress Terry Norton was dragged off Camps Bay beach and thrown into a police cell for walking her dog without a leash. For a start, her dog is a lot more attractive than some of the holidaymakers I’ve seen basking like beached whales along the shoreline” As always, Trovato is sheer class.