Sunday, boring Sunday (Sung to the tune of U2’s Sunday bloody Sunday)

If you, like me, find Sunday the most dull and uninspiring day of the week what with all these people spending time with family and going to church, then you will know yesterday was a shocker. Plans were being thought up in my head of going to the beach and spending the whole day doing nothing which is fun at the beach. Well global warming and climate change decided it should rain on a Sunday. It’s supposed to be “Sun” day, so where the fuck was the sun? There I sat at home waiting for a miracle which never arrived. So I spent the day reading the paper and came across something that never ceases to amaze me. Whenever reading the paper you see all these facts that scientists seem to come up with. On page 20 of the Sunday Times was a little news article with the headline “Most fearsome fish ever” It goes on to say that scientists have noted that the sea monster Dunkleosteus terrelli (Who thinks up these stellar names?), which terrorised the earth 400 million years ago, had the most powerful bite of any creature ever known. Yes, it could bring it’s jaws together with the force of almost 5000kg. And apparently it grew up to 10m long and weighed up to 4 tons. All good and well but who the fuck cares? I particularly don’t. Furthermore how the hell did they figure this out? Who are these people who do this research? They should seriously consider getting out a little more often and they will then realise that the majority of the public are only interested in money, sex and drugs and not old smelly fish. Another thing I ask is who pays these guys? We have a world that is falling apart and we are worried about a 4 ton, 400 million year old fucking fish. Amazing. Shocking. And bizarre.