"I'll eat your Weber!"

I have falsely accused many people over the past months over my missing Weber braai. And this is my official apology to all you poor souls. I have finally found the culprit. I should have known all along who stole it, but I was blinded by the other charges this man was facing. I will now add theft to Tony Yengenis other misdemeanours. If you look at the abdominal region of the accused(In the photo above, wearing the white hat), it is clear as daylight that he is hiding my Weber in his stomach. And those chubby little cheeks of his are hiding the pork chops that I was braaing when it was stolen. Tony Yengeni reminds me of the chubby kids in Grade 2. You just want to grab those cheeks and shout “Chubby cheeks, chubby cheeks!” Cute. I have now read that Tony does not like his prison food. Shame. Poor tyke. There are other reports that he went on a hunger strike. Tony, if you went on a hunger strike today, and were only released in 2203, you would still not be hungry. Look at the size of your stomach. We could feed Ethiopia with that. Besides the pork chops I was braaing when you stole my Weber, there were also three chickens, a leg of lamb, 9 potatoes and a kilogram of vegetables. How dare you say the prison food is bad. That food cost me a fortune. Then I hear you were drinking beer on the weekend when you went home. You do realise beer is the other half of the equation in “Beer boep” Which explains the absence of a six pack on your stomach, and an abundance of six packs in your fridge. Oh by the way Toni, that hat is out of fashion. All the people “in the know” are wearing Panama hats. Thought I’d let you in on that. You will also notice the absence of a Weber in the photo above, yet everyone still stands in a circular fashion as if there were one there a couple of moments ago. Oh God...he's eaten another one.