I found this song playing in my head last night when I heard that supermodel Karolina Kurkova was appearing on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno. However, the people that run DSTV in South Africa knew I would be watching this, and decided they would not allow me to see it. The view of my TV last night was horrific. Expecting to see Karolina, all I saw was a static image of the news that had been on previously. I could hear Jay talking in the background but I saw no picture. I heard him introducing Karolina. Oh what his eyes must have seen. Honey hued tits, bronzed legs, an ass so small…When I realised my TV was not going to work I started to see things in a fuzzy way…because of the tears welling up in my eyes. DSTV made it worse by offering me sound with no picture. I would rather have not known Karolina was going to be on TV. So to those bastards who ruined the only good thing I had going yesterday, fuck you. Why does my TV work the whole day when I don’t really need it to? It works when the nasty looking women Sophie Grigson is on BBC Food. Do you really think I want to see that? Because I don’t. Do you think I want to see that other women with the afro black hair who looks remarkably like the wild women from Borneo? Because I don’t. All I want to see is a hot model on a chat show and you can’t even give that to me. You’re all bastards, the whole lot of you at DSTV.
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