Survivors finished…12 more celebrities

Well now that Survivor SA is finished we have another 12 “celebrities” Are you serious, must we actually celebrate these people? Just because you sat on an island for a month eating rice does not make you important. But a couple of you will think you are important. You won’t stand in queues anymore, won’t want to pay for drinks, will throw a fit at any time of the day over something as trivial as the wind blowing, you will get a manager and try and enter the SA celebrity circle. Which is a tough circle to enter. You only need to be on TV for two minutes to enter this circle. The leader of this circle has got to be Tanit Phoenix. She is the ultimate “I want to be a celebrity” celebrity. Let’s take a look at some things she has done that have “Set up” written all over them. She dated Roland Schoeman at the height of his fame. There were photo’s taken of them in a shopping centre. The photo’s caught them hugging each other and giving really cheesy smiles. Since when do you walk around a shopping centre and then decide to give your girlfriend a hug? But a hug like you hug your mom? You don’t do this and this screams publicity to my ears. Then I recall seeing a photo of her in a jewellery store. She happened to pop in there and there happened to be a photographer outside the shop at some obscure time of the day. In SA we don’t have paparazzi that follow people around all day so the chances of there being a photographer around when Tanit is shopping are very slim. Slim to fuck all chance of this happening. Then there were the photo’s of her tanning topless on the beach. She said something about not knowing there would be a photographer on the beach. And who fucking goes running in the waves by themselves, topless, with a big smile on their face? No one does this. Then there was her movie role in Lord of War that was supposed to be huge. We saw her for all of 10 seconds. Here is my idea of how these photo’s of Tanit get taken.

Tanit wakes up in the morning, checks her schedule and realises she has no work for a month. She then thinks “I need publicity” So she heads down to the beach to tan topless. Knowing it is a weekday and no one is at the beach to spot her she thinks “Let me make an anonymous call to a magazine or newspaper to let them know I’m on the beach” The call probably goes something like this.

Tanit: Hi, um Tanit Phoenix is tanning topless on Clifton. I thought I should let you guys know.

Magazine photographer: That’s great! We will be there as soon as possible.

T:This is going to be so great for my career!

MF: Excuse me?

T: Um I meant to say this is going to be great for Tanit, it should get her lot’s of exposure

MF: Sorry ma’m can we please get your name for reference purposes?

T: Yes it’s Tanit…um…er I mean it’s Box Spokes. Uh…I hope you don’t think I’m Tanit calling in because I’m not. Um ok bye.

The photographer goes to the beach, takes the photo and Tanit is in the news again. Easy. Look I don’t doubt Tanit is hot and has a super fit body but the fake publicity she tries to create drives me insane. Rather just stick to modelling and stop trying to be the next Hollywood star.