Professional food tasters
These are usually old, fat, pale, greasy and desperately unhappy guys in need of some ambition in life. They also seriously need girlfriends or wives. Instead they sit around at posh restaurants all day eating the most artery clogging unhealthy shit on the planet. You can see them coming into your restaurant. They waddle in and their faces are bright red with beads of sweat tenderly gathering around their brow. The smell of saturated fat coming through their pores fills your restaurant with a formidable odour. The only thing that could possibly off set their smell would be Domestos mixed with pure airline gasoline. The restaurant might actually make some nice tasting healthy food but these fat fucks will order cheese cake, chocolate cake and some other cholesterol bomb for dessert. Actually their whole meal will be a dessert. Then they will say “There is too much of a certain Chateau Brient a La Chasêd cheese in this cheese cake, it is terrible” Then they will want a new order of dessert to be brought out for them. And they won’t want to pay for it. Then eventually when they are full and their arteries are about to burst with fat they will say “Yeah that was okay, but I may need to visit again to check that your standards in this restaurant don’t drop” What they mean is they will be back for another afternoon of stuffing their little pink piggy faces. That’s when I will tell them to go to the gym, lose 100 kilograms, get a girlfriend, find a hobby that does not include eating and get a life. And then I will still politely and elegantly tell them to… fuck off.
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