Infomercials

I happen to pay a lot of money to get satellite television at home. And not only are there shit programs on T.V but then all the empty gaps in the schedule are filled by infomercials. They try and sell anything on T.V that will not sell well in a proper store. When ordering a set of knives its great to know that the bread knife can cut through wood and tin cans. Which is all very well if you want to cut through wood and tin cans. But why on earth would you do that? The knife is only meant to cut through bread, hence the word “bread” that comes before the word “knife” And after only a month of using the knife you realize it can’t even cut bread anymore without flattening the whole loaf. But not to worry, you can keep it in a safe place for one day when you need to fell a fucking yellow wood tree. Then there are the various car polishes they sell. One of the adverts even blew a car up to show you how the polish protects the paint. Well to be honest the paint job is the last thing I would be concerned about if my car was lying in the street in a million pieces. Then there are all those stupid abdominal exercise machines which don’t work. They always claim “only 3 minutes a day to flat abs” Then to prove that it works they bring on a body builder to show you his abs. What they don’t tell you is that he trains for 4 hours a day and then still does 3000 sit ups after that. And he also only eats protein. And he is paid over $1 million per year to be in such good shape. And the hosts for these shows are just embarrassing. Even more so than Britney’s ex K-Fed or I think it’s Fed-Ex now. They always have a look of surprise on their face when a vacuum cleaner sucks up nails and bowling balls. I don’t know about you but it’s not often that I find a bowling ball lying in the lounge. And if it was there I would not be so lazy that I would try vacuum it up. It’s a bizarre world