Professional wine and whiskey tasters

Alright then enough of the other writing let's spice this up. I finished school in 2003 and took 2004 and 2005 off. I did nothing. I lived the dream. Now in that time I decided to keep a diary of things. Things that fucked me off and all sorts of other random writings. For the first time I will allow people to read these ramblings and there are quite a few of them. Let it rain because here goes.

Let’s not fool ourselves. These wine and whiskey festivals are just a gathering of old crack addicts. The name “Whiskey festival” is just used to throw the FBI off. If they had to tell the truth the sign would say “Massive underground heroine and crack sale, bring plenty of lube for the sex party later on” My reason for this? Well, to get their sense of smell and taste you have to be taking drugs through your eyeballs. How on Gods green earth can you smell strawberries, green pepper and lavender in a glass of wine? And since when can you taste bark in your whiskey? If you can taste all these things then there is actually an above average chance that you will taste an MP3 player in your ice cream. These people are just a bunch of old idiots who can’t get real jobs so they spend their days thinking up elaborate new flavours to describe whiskey. They seem to find flavours like peppers, bark, vanilla, pomegranate, leather and all sorts of other shit in these drinks. Whiskey all tastes the same to me, some just happen to be smoother than others. Next time there is one of these festivals I am going to call the cops and get them busted. I hear they pay good rewards for tip offs. And maybe I can score some drugs from them, I want a hit of whatever those old bastards are using.