Funny joke VW!

I will never admit to ever having read People magazine. So let’s just say that I was strolling through a friends house the other day and the People magazine was open on the coffee table. That issue happened to have an advert on page 9 for Volkswagen. The advert consisted of various car parts all over the page with words at the top of the page saying “The best part?” Then it continued with the answer of “The price” It then went on to say in smaller print that the Kinsey Report found out by some miracle of God that the VW Polo and CitiGolf have the cheapest parts in their class. Below the VW logo it says “For the love of People’s cars” Fuck that. I’m changing it to “For the love of rich mother fuckers cars”. Let me explain why this advert is a big lie. I formulated a little letter for them. Enjoy.

Dear Volkswagen

How you doing my fuckers? Great, I’m glad that you are sitting reading this letter smoking a big, fat Cuban cigar and drinking a fine glass of champagne. If it was up to me you would be smoking my pole and drinking my piss. I loved your advert saying your cars have the cheapest parts. It was amusing! I have personally forfeited a life of living like a king because your car parts are so fucking expensive. I was quite amused when I walked into your store in Kenilworth a few months ago wanting a new fabric cover for my gear stick. You guys would have handed it over in exchange for about R800. So cheap! Whoever the people are who do the Kinsey report they must be addicted to Tik. I can get two brand new Pirelli tyres for a little over what you wanted for a gear stick cover. Instead of spending the R800 on a gear stick cover I sent my car in for a service. The gear stick is riding smoothly now. You guys can ride the gear knob if you want, you fucks. While I was in the shop I heard some lady wanting to buy a new rear view mirror for her Volkswagen. I may have heard incorrectly but I heard they wanted R2200 for the mirror. That is mere pocket change to us mere mortals! I’m surprised they don’t charge you R150 for the complimentary coffee while you wait for a test drive. Anyway I hope the money you are making from these parts is affording you all sorts of luxuries such as personal gimp and a kid who for $1 a day fans you with a banana leaf while you sip on the finest Cognac. I hope your brakes and airbags fail catastrophically while you take a dangerous bend on Chapmans Peak one stormy night when no one else is on the roads. Well I wish you luck for the future and I hope business goes as fraudulently as it has for the past million fucking years.

Regards

Your Most Loyal Customer!

Sean