It’s the weekend so hear me now…

Well it’s the weekend and the smell of cheap booze fills the air. A couple of things before I let you go on the rampage. I lost sleep thinking of these last night, that’s why I’m up so early, so these things are important.

I will not post anything this weekend

Not because I don’t want to, but because I seem to have used most of my “meg’s” this month looking at unnecessary videos on YouTube (Possibly porn, I can’t remember) So I need to conserve what I have left to get me through the month. If anyone want’s to sponsor me some “meg’s”, get in contact. I have also been spending insane amounts of time looking for those naked photos of Minki van der Westhuizen in the bathtub. I thought I had hit the jackpot when I logged onto 2oceansvibe and they said they had them. However they had them blurred out because I think they are friends with Minki. Fuck. All my dreams shattered right before my eyes. In fact my entire heart is shattered.

Kirstenbosch summer sunset concerts

It’s summer again and these concerts are set to rock. I would book in advance for the big names because it gets quite full. If you don’t know what these concerts are, let me further enlighten you. They are a series of concerts where many famous (And not so famous) bands and singers play live in the Kirstenbosch gardens. You can bring your own drinks and food. They are held on Sundays which is fantastic. Personally I am not too religious but if you are, no need to read further. You see I don’t subscribe to the church mentality of not drinking on a Sunday ( I think they have that rule?) Sundays are deathly boring so these concerts will make them worthwhile again. And another church rule that these concerts will break is the “Shagging on Sunday rule” (I think they have that rule?) Because inevitably people will drink at the concert and end up having mad sex when they get home. So it’s good fun. Well the first concert starts this Sunday. Get on down there and have a tipple (Just don’t tipple and drive because you will tipple your car into a ditch inevitably)

Matrics and varsities are out-Public safety announcement

Therefore there is an array of women out at night and it’s fantastic. Beware though, just because they have just finished school does not make them 18. Therefore it is illegal to…you know. But drugs, drag racing on the streets and stealing stuff are also illegal but so much fun! No I’m serious ask the girls how old they are. And remember if someone is too drunk to stand or talk, then take them home…not to your place…but to theirs and make sure they are safe. Well let’s not bore you anymore with these intricate details. Now go in peace everyone and enjoy it. Respect.