The remnants of Valentines

A marvellous day indeed, Jones.

I have never really been sold on the idea of having "Day's" for various things. Fathers day, Mothers Day, Valentines Day, Birthdays. I just kind of think we should be living excessively all year. Now people will say "You are no fun" But why not do something with your girlfriend or parents or whatever every day? Why dedicate one day in the year to these people? Invariably, when these "days" do come along they turn into fuck shows. All the restaurants are packed, people are losing their tits completely, and it just kind of goes haywire. It is so commercial it kind of makes me want to stay in the whole day.

Not to mention the fact that a friend sms'd at about 9am this morning saying the day had already cost him R600. By the end of the day we can call it an even R1000. If I'm going to be dropping a grand on something, or putting it towards something, it better have the words "Apple i..." in it. Or someone like this A-class belter that I have seen around lately should be lying in a Waterfront apartment, with a bucketful of coke, waiting for me(That was technically a joke) This girl I have seen lately looks like a young Kate Moss, prior to getting involved with fuckshow himself, Pete Doherty. And prior to her powdering her nose with that fairy dust she uses, which at times resembles cocaine. Hang on a second...maybe it is cocaine.

God! All this time I thought it was from candy floss or something. Gosh I'm an idiot!

So yeah, Valentines "Day", is a bit commercial for myself. Not to mention that the Valentines are not exactly bashing down my hand carved front door. Anyway, I thought I would go visit the Woolworths down the road from me. The Rondebosch one, Klipfontein Road. So I did my rounds and when it came time to leave it was a complete mess. Cars could not get in and cars could not get out. The whole parking lot had come to a standstill. Then the car in front of me took off to turn right across the road. First she had to dodge the cars speeding at her from the right, then the ones in the other lane coming from the left. Well her senses failed her, and she pulled out in front of a bakkie.

Our boy in the bakkie slammed on brakes, swerved to his right, hit the centre island and ramped his car up, fucking a pole out the ground mid air, then dropped into the oncoming traffic and hit another womans car. You probably think I am making this story up to add further fuel to my "Valentines day is bullshit" fire. But go look at Woolworths, see the pole knocked out the ground. Now back to where I was.

All the while people were panicking, but me being me, ice cool maverick, well, I maintained complete composure. I actually acted with an air of grace and sophistication, taking this mass hysteria in my icy cool stride. I waited a while but the cars did not stop coming. Then an enterprising young man from Woolworths managed to stop some cars, so the people in the Woolworths parking lot could get out. I pulled out slowly in the VR3, not wanting to strain the engine on such a panicky day. Then I put my foot down, leaving the accident scene in my wake, and escaping unscathed. Another successful day, well navigated by me.

I just looked over the day, all the traffic, the accident, the money being thrown around and I thought "Fuck it, what a dogshow" I came home, watched our boys cleaning up in the cricket and quietly whispered in my ear "I am living the dream"

Then I fell asleep in my arms, woke up, and realised I had won the lottery( I write this pre-the lottery. This could happen. Will keep you informed)

Oh, by the way, hope you had a good Valentines day all the same.

Respect