Joost and Amor fuck YOU..again

After deciding to smash Sobhar last night...Wait...rewind.

I went to Kelvin Grove last night to go kick it old school with the crooners. How embarrassing then that in a place where the average age is about 50, I knew some people. Terrible. Then after Kelvin a move was made to Sobhar, where the party was not happening at all. Seriously there were not even enough people for a pants party. Fuck that.

So we still stayed there until 2am, just because we could. Then it was decided that some people wanted to go smoke those funny bushes that grow behind the church. I passed, rather favouring to send my tanned body to Tin Roof, where I could hook up with 16 year old school girls at the click of a finger.

It was terrible there, a couple of chicks who were not worthy of writing home about and then I actually bumped into some people I knew. Yes, I do know people. Oddly enough.

I actually only saw two people I knew though, not nearly enough to warrant a good old fashioned sex party(I'm kind of losing it right about now, you don't need to read on)

Then I woke up this morning to find the YOU magazine placed in my basin. I'm quite used to waking up in a bucketful of cocaine, with a broken tree stump next to me and a bottle of Aloe hand lotion on my chest, but seeing a YOU magazine in my basin is just weird, fucking weird. I opened it up and guess who is in it.

Yes I know you know.

Joost and Amor.

They were in it this time because it was their son's birthday. Woo-frikkity-hoo. They must be sleeping with someone at YOU, because they get at least a full page spread for anything they do. I swear Joost had a photo shoot taken for the launch of his fucking new car registration plates. They pretty much whore themselves to that magazine. Ahhh... the life a so called South African “celebrity”. Fuck all to celebrate about any of them to be honest.

Just look at their family. A picture of bliss. Only because they are thinking “Fuck yeah, we robbing YOU blind! R20000 for that shoot, going to rob that bitch next month again!”

And I'm totally and utterly spent, I have now officially spent too much time writing about Joost and Amor.

By the way if you are wondering which song I'm listening to as I write this, it's Aerosmith.

Aerosmith's "I don't want to miss a thing"

What an emotional song.

Brings a tear to my eye everytime.

No I lie, I'm actually wailing in tears now.