The cocaine train

I was kicking it back with some home boys today and we were talking about parties, ho's and drugs(In that order) Anyway we kind of rolled onto the topic of boring parties, and how to spice them up. We all agreed that taking your kit off is a definite party starter. If you have tits at least. Generally guys doing this kind of thing empty out the party at a rapid rate. Depending on the type of party, if you get where I am going.

Then, in a moment of boldness, and a moment that only can happen to me, I saw a fire extinguisher. Now to a normal person, seeing a fire extinguisher would not ignite a spark inside their heads linking this to a party. I bet some of you are thinking "Oh, what a tool, he thinks setting off a fire extinguisher at a party is funny" No, little ones. I am more profound than that.

I realised it was a powder fire extinguisher that held about 4.5kg of powder. Now can you imagine rocking up at a party that is so fuck boring that you would rather pull round to your gran's house and knit with her. Don't be fooled, these parties exist. The Mathletes from school get together every Friday to wank about maths, and they call this a "party" A pants party of sorts. Now generally these parties have no hope of ever getting a cool vibe going.

But with Sean, the intrepid, you don't have to fear. You fill this extinguisher with the finest Columbian blow you can find. You walk into any old fucked out party shouting your surname. Example: In this example, replace my surname, Lloyd, with yours: Lloyd's number one! Lloyd's number fucking one! Fuck yeah!" At this moment you pull the pin out the extinguisher, press down the handle and shout, as the cocaine pummels it's way through the air "(Make a hooting sound, like a train) HOOT HOOT! THE COCAINE TRAIN IS COMING TO STEAM ROLL YOU, BITCHES!"

Watch in sheer amazement, as Zion, the top Mathlete in high school, gets his hand off Ron's cock and starts doing the fucking funky chicken, then breaks into a full out "Zoolander" walkoff scene. He then walks up to Stacy, the Mathlete whore slut bitch slag bag, and pulls her. He then pulls out a strip of 500 condoms, he holds them up, points to her and says "Stacy, you are in BIG trouble young lady"

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Can you imagine how crazy that would be?! I'm am at a loss for words!

4.5 kg's of cocaine, absolutely annihilating anyone in site! I can't even begin to imagine how numb their gums would go after only a couple of moments. Fuck they would actually have numbs gum they would be so fucked up.

Now that my friends, is the situation at a boring party. Imagine going into one of the sickest parties ever, like in Ibiza, and doing the exact same thing. The opportunities for crazy stories after this would be endless. It would be a complete dogshow, complete with people acting like dog's and whoring themselves to anyone in sight.

Now to the sophisticated, cultured, intelligent(Everything I am not) people reading this, they will argue that the cocaine would not shoot out as it needs propellant to propel it out the extinguisher. Fuck off. This is not fucking Mythbusters, so stop trying to ruin the best story ever written. EVER! Seriously, go back to the lab and never come out again.

I won't lie, this took up so much brainpower to write, I think it may be my last post ever. Seriously.

Cheers

The Honourable Sean Lloyd