Sorry for you!

Yes, you, the FIVE winners of the lottery last night. You must all be standing on a bridge right now wanting to jump. Because that's where I would be. In life you only get one chance at some things. You might get a couple of chances to sleep with your best friends girlfriend or mom, you may even get a couple of chances to steal stuff without anyone knowing. But when it comes to winning the lottery you don't have any chance. And when that slight chance comes round you had better make fucking sure that you win the R20 million roll over.



Last night I was at Forres speaking to my mates Jerry and Nic and we were talking of winning the lottery. Nic pulled his ticket out of his wallet to show me the winning ticket. We also have an agreement that if we win we will give each other some cash to spend, just as a bonus. Maybe like R10000 or R20000. Thank fuck we did not win last night. Because last night was a freak of nature. Five winners got about R857000, which sucks. It's like getting the Porsche Boxster, not the 911 GT3 RS(The orange one below). It just won't do. You are driving around in your Boxster thinking "Fuck, I nearly made it in life. I was so close to having the model girlfriend and the Llandudno house. Now all I have is this fucking car. The poor mans Porsche" At that very moment some old dude passes you on the drive along Camps Bay in his fuck off fast 911 GT3 RS. He is 92 in the shade, can't even lift his hand up without taking Viagra and he has a tight as hell 21 year old model in the passenger seat, who he is going to give a right seeing to when he gets home.




That's how it would feel to win the lottery last night. You would just think "Fuck, I nearly won the lottery. So close yet so far"

So sorry for you. No really, I feel your pain. I truly do. May you all go in peace.