Part 1 of Hout Bay Castle

I have for many years driven past the castle in Hout Bay and thought "My God, that man must get loads of chicks" I even used to play out situations in my head of what would happen if I owned the castle. Here is one of those situations:

I'm sitting at a bar, the moon blinking off raindrops that have now tenderly gathered on the window. A glass of fine wine in my hand, the smell of Armani Black Code radiating off of me like it's hot. An unwavering look in my eyes. A woman walks past me. We make eye contact. She stops on a dime(Literally, cos she stepped on a dime) She takes a seat next to me. She starts off the conversation, mentioning some shit about her job. I say nothing. I stare at her. She carries on about her dogs, her ex husband, all shit that I don't give two fucks about. I keep staring. I light up a Cohiba cigar. She mentions that I have not said one word the whole time. She then goes on to say I am a psycho. She get's up to leave. I say "Wait". She turns around. She pierces me with her come-to-bed eyes. I whisper "I own the castle in Hout Bay" Immediately it feels as if we have known each other for a lifetime. She shouts so everyone in the bar can hear "Will you storm my castle with your steed!" We get in my Ferrari and head back...to the castle.

That was one thought I had of the castle. The other was that maybe it is a brothel. Noting in my diary that not many prisoners were escaping from prison(Not even Toni Yengeni, but I forgive him for he is fat) I realised something was wrong. I thought "I know! By George! The prisoners are not escaping because they don't have KY jelly to slip between the bars. The reason they don't have KY is because the brothel is using all the KY!"

These were my initial thoughts on the castle. In part 2 of this article I go and find out what the castle is really about. Stay reading.