Is he serious?

It's the 300th post! Crack the bubbly and the crack sandwiches! Someone please kiss me...now!

Due to the vast amount of clubbing we have been doing of late, we have a story. I must also mention, although you don't care at all, that Tiger is on for tomorrow, a party is on at the Hout Bay Pink Palace of Poon for Wednesday, and BMP has been my hero and organised some sort of AAA School of Advertising ticket for me, for a party they are having at Ignite on Saturday. Dirty AAA girls running wild, spending their youth like a $1 bill, short skirts, thumping music, nibbling my ear, wanting my vast writing talent, wanting the white picket fence, the dream, the Malibu house, the gimp...Getting carried away.

Well...so...

We were at Tiger last week and this little girl I was Saturday Night Fevering it like John Travolta with had momentarily taking her gaze off my Adonis like body. Taking the opportunity to see who else we could see on the dance floor, I noticed a girl, and I noticed her breasts as they were quite well formed.

Then I saw something that reminded me of a psycho. Someone, somewhere in the club, was pointing a lazer at her tits that said "I love(It was actually a heart) you" I looked to see where psycho, Harry potter wand waving, library geek, computer punisher was. But I could not see him.

I was thinking "Are you serious?" I mean who does this? Do you really think that this girl is going to fall madly in love with you when you use a move out of the "Paedophile Starter Pack- Set 1"? Who are you?

I mean I have probably(I say probably so as not to admit it) used the "So you come here often" line. In fact WE used the "It's cool I have a licence for these bad boys"(In reference to our guns) line on Thursday. She laughed. It actually worked. Unbelievable. It's so cheesy it has to work. I have given out plenty of tickets to the gun show, I'm sure others have in all seriousness looked at a girl and used my favourite:

"Hey you know of a good vet?"

"Why?" The little minxy fox replies

"Cos these puppies are sick!"

It's dumb, but at least the girl knows you are being dumb. Pointing a lazer at a girl is bordering on stalker/freakshow/kiddie fiddler.

More often than not it's my fame that people are attracted to. Most people recognise me from Fight Club and I'm totally cool with that. So are they.

It's all fair game

Seriously though, never EVER use that lazer pointer again.

What planet are you from?

Zion?